Hello everyone,

One thing I didn’t anticipate was just how passionate so many of you are about these topics and skills. Several of you have reached out to my team and I about bringing these principles to parents and coaches in your school, academy, or team through Zoom workshops.

If you’d like to explore how to implement these principles within your organization, I’d be happy to help. Just respond to this email and let me know!

Have a great week,
Justin Su’a

For Athletes: Your Museum of Failure

Museums aren’t built to celebrate perfection. They exist to preserve history. They tell stories of struggle, resilience, and growth.

In my experience working with some of the world's best athletes, I’ve noticed a pattern: they don’t hide their mistakes; they learn from them. The missed shot, the bad game, the emotional reaction, the moment they lose focus — they place all of them into their museum of failures.

Your museum of failures is a source of resilience.

In the moment, these experiences hurt. Over time, the wounds become scars. Those scars remind you of what you’ve endured, what you’ve learned, and how much stronger you’ve become.

The great ones, those people you look up to, have the biggest museums. After their failures, they adjusted and came back stronger. Their confidence doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from knowing they’ve been through the fire and learned from it.

So when you fail, don’t bury it. Preserve it. Study it. Learn from it.

Because greatness isn’t about having no scars, it’s about using them to come back stronger.

Exercise: Build Your Museum of Failure

To help you reflect on past setbacks, extract the lessons, and transform failure into fuel for growth and leadership, try these three steps:

Step 1: Take Inventory.​
List 3–5 moments in your sports journey where you fell short, missed the mark, lost composure, made a costly mistake, or didn’t perform the way you wanted. Don’t edit or sugarcoat them. Just write them down.

Step 2: Reframe the Artifacts.​
Next to each failure, write what that experience taught you. These are your artifacts, or proof of resilience, growth, and perseverance. Instead of seeing them as regrets, view them as valuable pieces in your personal museum.

Step 3: Share the Story.​
Choose one artifact and share it with a teammate, coach, or group. Explain what you learned from it.
When you show your scars, you build connection.

For Coaches: Emotions

The NFL sidelines, the dugout during the World Series, the players' box during the U.S. Open all have one thing in common—high emotions. As a coach, one of the most important skills you can develop is the ability to manage your emotions.

Emotions are like fire. When controlled, they give you warmth, light, and energy. When uncontrolled, they burn everything to the ground. The best coaches I’ve worked with aren’t emotionless; they’ve learned to sharpen the skill of emotional control. They feel everything, but they stay composed enough to respond instead of react.

It starts with awareness. You can’t change what you're not aware of. Know your triggers and recognize what causes emotional surges.

Think of firefighters. They don’t run from fire—they study it, respect it, and learn to control it. Coaches must do the same.

Unchecked emotions can spread throughout the entire team. That’s why elite leaders focus on emotional hygiene, which involves staying grounded so that others, including your coaching staff and players, can do the same.

Control the fire so it doesn't control you.

Exercise: Fire Check

Just like fire, emotions can warm or burn. A single spark on the sideline, an argument with an official, a mistake by a player, a poor call—can spread fast. This “Fire Check” is your system for catching the flame before it catches you.

How it works:

1. Spot the spark.​
   Notice when emotions flare up. This comes in the form of your body tensing, your voice tightening, or your thoughts racing. It starts with awareness.
2. Name the flame.​
   Label what you feel: frustrated, angry, disappointed, embarrassed. Name it to tame it.
3. Cool the burn.​
   Take one deep breath—inhale through the nose for 4 seconds, hold for 2, exhale through the mouth for 6.
   Drop your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Let the body cool the mind.
4. Refocus the fire.​
   Ask: “What does my team need from me right now?”​
   This question shifts your focus from emotion to mission.
5. Lead with light.​
   Once you’ve cooled and refocused, it's time to lead with power.

For Parents: Put A Number on It

When it comes to helping our kids, we often say things like “relax,” “be confident,” or “be more positive.” Our hearts are in the right place because we want to encourage them, but those phrases can be hard to define or measure. What does “be confident” actually look like? What does “have fun” really mean?

That’s why, with many of the athletes I work with, I put numbers to those ideas. Instead of vague encouragement, we make it something tangible. After a practice, game, or performance, have your child rate themselves on a scale from 1 to 10 in one specific area, such as effort, focus, or positivity. Then, give your own rating based on what you observed.

Once you both have your numbers, compare them. Talk about why they might be different. Over time, you will start to see patterns. Maybe effort drops on certain days or positivity rises after good preparation. These conversations help your child build awareness and language around what they are feeling and doing.

The more you do this, the better both of you will become at noticing and interpreting behaviors. Eventually, your perspectives will begin to align, and you will see things through a shared lens.

I use this same exercise with elite athletes and their coaches. We record scores, review them regularly, and look for trends and deviations from the norm. It is not about getting the “right” number. It is about developing awareness, creating shared understanding, and tracking growth over time.

Exercise: Rate It to Raise It

To help your child build self-awareness, confidence, and focus by turning vague encouragements into measurable, meaningful feedback.

Step 1: Choose a Focus Area​
Pick one quality or behavior to focus on, such as positivity, effort, focus, or body language.

Step 2: Use a 1–10 Scale​
After a practice or a game, ask your child to rate themselves on that area.
Example: “On a scale of 1–10, how positive were you today?”

Step 3: Give Your Rating​
Share your own score based on what you observed (if you were there).
Example: “I’d say you were about a 7. You bounced back quickly after mistakes.”

Step 4: Compare and Discuss​
Talk about why you both scored the way you did.

• “What made you give yourself that score?”
• “What could move it up one point next time?”

The purpose of this exercise is not to achieve perfection in the rating; it's to create awareness. Let them choose and keep their scores as is. Don't try to move them up or down; the more they do it, the more accurate they will get over time.

Step 5: Track and Reflect​
Write the scores in a notebook or on a simple chart. Over time, look for trends, improvements, dips, and patterns.

Step 6: Celebrate Growth​
Recognize progress, not perfection. The goal is not to get a 10 every day. It is to notice, learn, and grow together.

Message of the Week:

Justin Su'a @Justinsua Coaching requires holding your most talented players accountable when their actions negatively affect the team. In preparation for the 2008 Olympics, Kobe Bryant, the Captain of the USA Basketball Team, started to play in a manner that was hurting the group. LeBron James and 8:54 AM • Nov 18, 2023 1384 Retweets 10334 Likes Read 96 replies

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